7 Ways to Get to Know Yourself Better
by Tiffany Walking Eagle | 6-minute read
As commonplace and cool-sounding the concept of getting to know yourself is….how the heck do you actually do it?
Phrases like know your self-worth and find yourself are thrown around all over the place, but there’s little practical information out there on how to actually figure out who you are.
It will look different for everyone, but here are some actionable, effective ways to get to know yourself better.
1. Take the Enneagram Test, or a personality test in general.
One really powerful way to understand your tendencies, struggles, interactions, and relationships is to take a personality test. One that many people have found extremely enlightening is the Enneagram Test.
The Enneagram is, to put it simply, based around 9 personality types, numbered 1 through 9. According to the website, “At its core, the Enneagram helps us to see ourselves at a deeper, more objective level and can be of invaluable assistance on our path to self-knowledge.” (Click here to read more about it.)
I have learned so much about myself since taking this test, and it’s really helped me understand a lot about why I am the way I am. I am so grateful that a wonderful friend of mine (who happens to be a therapist) recommended it to me!
Full disclosure, the official test is not free. It looks like the test on the official website is $12. I actually have never taken the test on the website, but I took it on a mobile app called EnneaApp. The full version of the app is $1.99, but the test is free once you download the app. I highly recommend it! (Not in any way sponsored or affiliated, by the way.)
If you take the test, let me know what number you are in the comments! I am a 9. There’s a bunch of Enneagram-inspired Instagram accounts that have lots of fun commentary and information on the 9 types as well. Check out @enneagram.kam, @enneagramandcoffee, and @enneagramashton.
Also please note, I can’t recommend any of the free Enneagram tests floating around online. The results aren’t often consistent or correct.
If the Enneagram test doesn’t sound like your thing, a couple of other well-respected options include Myers-Briggs and DiSC profile.
2. Journaling.
I realize that not everybody connects with journaling. Does that make sense? I mean, I’m a writer and a words person, and even I have often struggled with journaling! However, it really is such a powerful tool for growth and learning about yourself.
If you’re struggling to know what to write about, journal prompts are a must. They’ll help you kick off a line of thought so you have something to write about, since typically, the most difficult thing about journaling is getting started.
Here are three to get you started:
What is something negative from your childhood that has impacted you? What positive impacts or implications has it had in your life?
How do you think the struggles you’ve gone through have affected or changed you?
Write down one positive trait you have and one negative trait. Expound on them, and write about ways you could capitalize on the positive trait and work on the negative trait.
Also, understand that you won’t necessarily have incredible revelations every time you journal. Some days will be more impactful than others. And don’t beat yourself about being super consistent with it either. Think of it as a tool you can whip out when you need to flesh out some thoughts or find some clarity.
3. Therapy.
I just cannot say enough good things about therapy. Connecting with a great therapist who helps you identify your patterns and hang-ups, challenges you to grow, pushes you toward healing, and helps you understand why you are the way you are can be just life-changing.
I truly believe all humans can benefit from therapy, no matter what your background is.
Therapy certainly can be difficult, as it will shine a light on some difficult areas of your life, and some things that may be tough to accept. However, it is a really powerful way to heal, get to know yourself, and build self-worth.
Related post: How to Build Your Self-Worth When No One Taught You How
4. Evaluate your inner critic.
Next time you start hearing that negative voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough or you always mess things up, or whatever it says, pause for a minute and think about what your inner critic tends to tell you, and why.
Your inner critic probably manifested from something that happened to you, whether it’s from a difficult childhood, a bad relationship, or otherwise.
Taking some time to learn the reasons why you have these negative thoughts about yourself is the first step to dispelling them. Rather than blindly believing the inner critic, we can learn to question and challenge it.
Understanding your negative thinking patterns can help you learn more about who you are, and learning to quiet and question them can create self-respect.
5. Figure out your strengths and weaknesses.
Personality tests are a great way to figure out your strengths and your weaknesses, but the next step is understanding that application in your life.
Your strengths can help you learn what types of jobs you’ll excel at, and your weaknesses can help you identify areas where you need to grow and improve.
6. Practice being alone, and try to find ways to enjoy it.
It’s okay if you are recharged by being around people (you might be an extrovert) but if you have a hard time being alone with your thoughts, it may be a sign that you really need to learn how. Just as if you don’t enjoy time with certain people because you don’t like them, we can tend to avoid spending time with ourselves if we don’t like who we are.
Do you feel restless and anxious when you’re alone? Are you always trying to fill the silence with noise so you don’t have to reflect?
If so, try to figure out some ways to enjoy your own company.
Here’s a few ideas:
Make yourself a tasty meal (or order in), grab your favorite beverage, and curl up and watch your favorite movie.
Take yourself to a coffee shop or a fancy restaurant.
Try your hand at creating something. Crafts, carpentry, writing, cooking, whatever!
Practice yoga.
Learn how to play an instrument.
Do some research and figure out your political views.
Related post: 3 Reasons to Know + Love Yourself Before Getting Into a Serious Relationship
7. Take on a new challenge.
Try to find something you wouldn’t ordinarily do, and give it a try--preferably something that scares you just a little.
Maybe it’s taking a dance class, maybe it’s martial arts, maybe it’s trying speed dating. Find some events in your area and try something different. You can learn a whole lot about you when you do something out of your comfort zone, and you might just surprise yourself!
What tip will you try first? Let me know what works for you in the comments!
Want more? Check out The Unsexy Truth About Self-Care